kepala sangat berat..hati pun panas...mata pun sakit jer..

dapat lecturer yang sangat menyakitkan hati...

condemn cikgu MARA, mcm la kiteorg ni tak tau ape-ape..

'Mane MARA x huru hara, cikgu2 die pun x tau ape2 pasal content of teaching'..Quoted from that annoying lecturer...

MARA ni huru hara sbb cikgu die je eh??

Staf2 die x?

Kementerian x?

Pejabat MARA Daerah x?

Pejabat MARA Negeri x?

Cikgu2 die je eh??

Pandai....

'Awak dh blaja smpai mane?Sume dh abis?Abis tu saya nk ajar ape?'

Ape kata Encik ajar last chapter?Yg tu kiteorg x blaja lagi...

'Hmm...saya x tau nk ajar awak ape'...

WTF????!!!!

Satu hal lagi...

'Saya x tau ape yg saya buat salah dgn dieorg,x suke la bmasam2 muka ni,ingat die tu cantik sgt.Kalau brani ckp la depan2.'

Ha,sbb aku sdar yg aku x cantik la, aku x nk kwn dgn org yg terlebih cantik mcm ko.Org yg x cantik ni jugak yg pegi present kat depan.Nak harapkan ko,huh!! Tibe2,sakit kepala la, sakit perut la,nk muntah la...Comment org punye idea pandai, suruh present,senyap..Ai,x kan cikgu tempat top x bley present. Show us what u got la..Kalau hbat sgt,buat la.Nk suruh org yg x cantik ni jugak buat?Org yg x cantik ni no hal, sbb dh memg die x cantik, sbb tu die x malu nk kuar present.

'Perangai mcm budak2,x matang langsung'

Abis ko ingt ko matang sangat.Dok terjerit2,maki org dlm tepon,nk tmpar2 org.Dengan kakak sendiri ko ckp tengking2,tu matang eh?Ke terlebih matang??X tau eh nk hormat org lg tua mcm mane? I thot u matang??Sume org salah,ko je betul..Sume org nk cari pasal ngan ko.Pernah terpk x nape?Tolong kaji diri sendiri sebelum ko ingt org saje2 nk pulaukan ko..

Ko brani sgt ke?ckp nk sembur org,tp nk bwk org lain nk back up ko...Apehal???Dgn boyfriend sendiri pun boleh ckp benda2 yg menjatuhkan maruah die....

Wei, bley bla la weh!!

p/s:relevannye aku ckp kat sini,lebih baik aku luah dlm blog,dr bgaduh dgn pompuan tu,yg akan effect kelas2 dip ed aku yg seterusnya...

it's finally friday!!!

these 2 days were awesome!we were supposed to finish our class at 6.30pm on thursday and 7pm on friday..it's very fortunate when we got one very kind hearted lecturer, En Hishamuddin as our lecturer,when he decided,'oklah,u can pack and go' i-5pm on thursday ii-4pm on friday!!! yeah!mind u, we started our class at 2.30pm on thursday and 3pm on Friday...ahaks!!!suke la lecturer nih!!ngaja pun x melalut!!besh besh..

it has been 3 weeks of me becoming a student again.there were certain things that caused students here feeling insecure and not comfortable.For instance:

i-we are not allowed to park our car inside the hostel compund-KPTM Bangi,fyi.(God knows what would be the reason).So basically we have to park our cars by the roadside.

ii-up to this point,1 Honda car was stolen,2 Myvis has been smashed and the owners lost 2 laptops,it all happened within 12 hours.Crazy!

iii-They have 2 guards at night time,but the both of them slept with the gate kept open!!Owh,by the way, ingt x mcm mane pak guard UIA layan students?mcm tu la guard2 di sini layan kiteorg,memg la kiteorg ni students,but the fact is,WE ARE WORKING PEOPLE AND TEACHERS!!lawan nanti,ckp cikgu2 kurang ajar..what do u xpect?cikgu umur 40 thun ke?ni cikgu umur 23-27 thun.(walaupun ade yg exceed the range,tp sgt skit).darah muda,cepat jer panas..tp betul la,dtg sini,ramai jd baik..hehehe...yg tua2 plak nk tunjuk muda..

iv-I would rate the cleanliness at ermm...ZERO??.I wonder how did the KPTM students survived.

v-Tingkapnya sgt senang diumpil.Last monday,dh ade satu bilik cuba dipecah masuk.Mcm mane yer dieorg ni bley masuk???(please refer to point no iii)

adui.........

i just dont and didnt expect that i'll be meeting dgn sorg mak org yg berperangai mcm anak org yg umur same tahap dgn budak skolah rendah.manusia yg paling teruk pnah aku jmpa sepanjang waktu aku keje..



i dont know what's her problem. tp one of the reasons (please,help me to digest this)is sbb kiteorg amik tmpat die dlm kelas!!!!!!!WHAT!!!!!!!last time i've checked, x de plak name sape2 tampal kat kerusi yg kiteorg duduk tuh.kiteorg sume dtg awal like 7.45am utk kelas 8.30 am(trust me,x pnah buat mcm ni time kat uia) semata2 nk amik tempat.ko plak suke2 ati je nk marah2 kat org just because we got that place earlier than u.ko dtg 8.40 pastu siap jeling2 plak kat kiteorg.ko apehal...

what will u feel when ur students r busy talking to their friends and ignoring you while u r giving lectures right in front?
dhla suara lecturer tu slow,die bcakap ngan member die mcm nk suh 1 kelas dgr,ckp pasal beli jubah kat nilai because of clearance sale,siap kuar brooch yg baru beli(ATTENTION TO MY FRIENDS YG DAH KAWEN,ADE ANAK DAN BAKAL KAWEN DAN BAKALA ADA ANAK:TOLONG LA WEH JGN BUAT MCM NI)all i did was to hush them sbb memg x dgr lecturer ckp ape.boleh jeling kat aku.ok lagi,aku buat bodo.the next day,siap die perli lagi ckp,eh,jgn bising...what is ur point??ni sape yg buat salah ni??

pastu,time mkn pun same.she purposely pintas line aku,bile tgk aku buat x tau,boleh himpit lagi aku.YA ALLAH!!!PLEASE!!ade lagi manusia mcm ni..umur dh 30,anak dh sorg,perangai mcm budak2..serius,walaupun aku panas,tp aku still x nk bising,n aku x nk provoke lg keadaan only to make it worse. i will not lower my level to the the lowest rank just like what she did to herself.

just a reminder to all,kalau nk cari pasal dgn org,ingt2 la skit.tuhan nk balas x semestinya kat kita,mungkin balasan akan dpt kat ank2 kite.so just be careful with whatever u do.

Pasal ppuan tu,aku malas nk layan.

*aku amaze dgn tahap kesabaran aku*

i wanted to update my blog earlier,but i couldnt find an appropriate time where i can write/type at ease.i'll update later...maybe a bit later or tomorrow..

i've finally changed my blogskin..was tired with all the soft colours.although this new skin is much simpler, but i like it.(you see students, how do we use ALTHOUGH in a sentence?) i was not able to update my blog and the only thing that i could do was to post some pics that i had with students. was having some controversial issue here(not me,mintak dijauhkan).

Dear someone,
What on earth were you thinking? I know I don't have the right to say this, but you need someone to say this! I know, it doesn't matter what I am going to say or anyone has to say/said, you are not going to listen anyway. Don't blame me from running away from you. You never come to me. Now, I begin to understand you and know who you really are. I don't trust you anymore and sorry I have to walk out from you friendship circle. I don't like it when you were actually defending someone who caused you so many troubles. I don't like it when you actually have so much to treasure but you are willing to leave it behind for something uncertain. No, wait. It's not that I don't like it. It's I hate it. Yes, that's better. You know what, maybe you think you are still young, adventurous and still have lots more to venture. Fine! Go ahead and take your adventure trip. I'm sad because I wanted to be just like.Happy family! But I guess I was wrong.Silly of me for trusting you and make me doubted one of my students.So silly.You told me that the thing that YOU have said was a slander. I swear, I heard it loud and clear from YOUR VERY OWN MOUTH about that student. Now you are telling me that was slander. Then you actually have the guts to tell me to fix it???? Sombong giler bunyi msg tu.Deep in my heart, I just want to say 'apahal yang putar belit nih..' agaknya bile my student serang ur beloved tu, dah takut he leaves a bad name behind la.You never think that when you were talking about my student.

Hey, that's not the best part. The best part was, you told someone else, that slander you said, was ACTUALLY TRUE!! Wei, apehal nih!Nak cakap straight forward la. Why didnt you talk to me about that?Nape ckp benda tu fitnah kat aku, kat org lain ko ckp benda tu betul? That would be the point where I just don't want to see your face and to talk to you anymore. I think I have enough. Yg buat I marah giler2, muka x de tunjuk insaf pun. Still contacted that person after you HAVE PROMISED not to see and contact that person.So, think! Should we trust you for anything that you have said?? We(as in a lot of us) are getting tired of this.

You just go on what you think is right eventhough it's wrong.Treasure every 'wonderful' moments that you have now. I never actually pray for you to fall down, I'm actually praying for you to wake up and put your feet on the ground.I'm praying hard that I will never be like you. I'm praying hard..Really really hard. Because I've seen how many hearts have you hurt.I don't want this to happen to me. Please Ya Allah!

My homeroom(G3)

My Form 5vers 2008

ALLAHYARHAM HAJI YAAKOB BIN SALLEH

22nd of October 2008- the passing of my grandfather,Allahyarham Haji Yaakob bin Salleh..

He was diagnosed with prostate cancer 2 years ago. An operation has been done to remove the cancer source. At that time, the doctor estimated that he will only have 3 more months to live. He suggested for chemotheraphy. Our family rejected the suggestion as he was already at his late 70s.We were afraid that he could not take it.

Alhamdulillah, he survived for another 2 years. Throughout those 2 years, he led his life with medications and supplementary foods that helped him to go through each days.

On the second day of raya, he started to feel very sick. He got fever and sometimes he became unconcious. But then,he regained his conciousness on the next day. Soon after discharged, his health was shaky. He's not stable phsically.

A week before his passing(15/10/2008), he started not to talk. It's not that he didn't want to talk, but he's not able to do so. I came back home that weekend. I was told by my mom that the doctor has said, the cancer has attacked his spines and many important parts of his body,and that there's nothing else they can do. It's just a matter of time. My mom and the rest of her siblings took turn to take leave and fortunately each of their employers were being so considerate and let them to take leave.

On 21/10/08, he did not talk anymore. All questions will only be replied with a nod or a shake. My aunt said, he was already in his own world that Tuesday morning. Before maghrib, my uncle did ask him whether he wanted to perform his Maghrib prayer,and he nodded. My uncles helped to lift him and helped him with his wudhu'. After that, he laid on his bed and shut his eyes, and he never opened his eyes. He was unconcious and yes, our family was waiting for that time. I was not there and I was not informed.I called, but my father didn't say anything about him. My mom called the next day while I was attending a school programme. It was three pm, and my mom asked me,do I want to go back.My mom wouldn't ask me to go back unless it was the matter life or death. She did not finish her sentence as I interrupted he and said, I'll take a bus right away.I was hoping that I could wait until the programme is finished. But I can't wait as I didn't feel at ease. I asked my friend to send me to the bus station and I managed to get a ticket at 4.30pm.How lucky I was, there's only 1 seat left.

When I was in the bus, I felt something different. It was 6 pm. But I hold it up. But then, I couldn't resist from calling my sister to check on his condition. At the first attempt, she did not answer. My intuition was getting stronger. On the second attempt, she answered and pass the phone to my mom. I asked, and my mom said, 'Tokki dah x de.. Dia dah selamat.Tepat 6ptg'.At that moment, only Allah knows what did I feel because I didn't get to see him before he caught his last breath.. I cried, and i didn't give a damn on people next to me.

I calmed myself and believed that at least he did not suffer anymore. And thank God, he did not suffer for so long. It was exactly one week after he started not able to manage himself to his final breath. I arrived at home around 11pm and once I stepped into my grandparents' house, I saw his body in the living room covered with white cloth. That moment was so heartbreaking. I went to the toilet, took my wudhu' and ready to recite the Quran. While reading the Quran, I paused for quite sometimes, as if I heard he recited the Quran with me. I swear I heard him. Then, looking back,it was his routine to recite the Quran every day and night at the living room. I also paused, as I remembered those days when he taught me to recite the Quran. From Alif, Ba and Ta, until finished the whole chapters of the Quran. He was the one who taught me and the rest of my siblings and cousins to recite the Quran. And because of him, I was able to recite the Quran for his 'ruh'.

The next day, it's his funeral.Emotional started to pour as all the sons,daughters,in laws and grandchildren kissed him goodbye. The most heart wrenching moment when our grandmother kissed him, I couldn't take it. Imagine, they have been living together for 55 years. As what one of my realtives said,'x de dah kwan bergaduh die,kwn bcakap,tempat mengadu.anak- anak ada,tp x same'.True.Your husband or wife understands you in a way that your children would never understand and probably would never will.As he was put in a coffin, we knew that this is it.We are missing one member in the family and it would never be a complete set of family. I keep on reminding myself, bersabar,bersabar . It's time for us to let him go.

My arwah Tokki was a former Imam.People know him. My mom said, after his last breath, people started to come in, and my family did not even know who told them,even the mosque did not announce anything just yet. People came like, endless from 6 sumthing until midnight and it was like a feast.Only this time, it was a sad one. The same thing with the day of his funeral. People were ..i don't know how to describe. But they were just a lot. The Imam even said, that was the first time he ever saw such a huge crowd. I guess it was his 'rezeki' and it should be a good sign right?From what I;ve heard from my aunts, he passed away without any complicaton and he exhaled his last breath soon enough.

Al Fatihah..May Allah put his ruh together with all the blessfull ruh of mukmin..Amin..

haaaaaaa!!!!
x nak dah jaga PMR or SPM or even UPSR!!! x nak dah!! penat,serius giler2 pnat..dan membosankan!!4 more days to go!! :(

I'M FREAKING TIRED!!! thank u..

woohoo!!its been a while jugak la since i'last post something in here..sempat post raya pics jer..
anyway,my raya was not that fun,same thing with my birthday...

this year,dmam on raya eve...badan panas giler,dh lame dh x dmam mcm tu..i had to sleep in the living room since my sister(yes,i've shared room with my sis) pasang kipas kuat giler..i need to sweat.so i decided to sleep in the living room.kol 5 pagi,baru started to sweat..i thot dh ok..but then on that raya day itself,like 2pm,my whole body started to ache again..adui..then my aunt ckp,kene mkn ubat every 4 hours.baru ok...so decided to do just that..nk pegi klinik,klinik bukak only after the 2nd day after raya..gile ah..raya ke3 dh nk balik..huhuhu...

yg buat risau nih,because i have to drive to besut alone on the third day of raya.kalau x shat,sape nk drive?i wont ask my dad to drive...sian plak die pnat.my bro dh nk balik kl on sunday..die pun kene drive jugak..by hook or by crook, i have to drive and by all means,this time around ,i became an obedient patient by taking medicines on schedule..

alhamdulillah..on the 2nd day of raya,i started to feel much better...and at that moment,i was very much confident that i could drive on the third day of raya,which i did...

anyway,got something here..click on the pic to get better view and kalau rajin,cari lah diri ini di mana..heheh..

I'm tagging Wawa, Sera and sesiapa yang nak buat.---quoted from Zeti's..
weh,15 facts tuh!!!hmmm....ape nk tulis ek??
lets see if i would ever get 15 facts bout myself.

1.i love to nag. tp x sdar tau yg suke membebel.tgh2 ckp ngan my students,tbe2 nmpak muke dieorg sayu jer..baru prasan,aku membebel rupenye..kalau ngan kengkawan,they can layan my bebel.tp kalau ngan fahmy,he went like ermm,ermm..dh abis dh? oh,i was nagging rupenye...serius x sdar..

2.suke simpan masalah,suke pendam,ape2 yg menyakitkan ati.in the end,mkn diri sendiri jugak.bile dh smpai satu tahap yg maximum,it affects my whole day,n tunggu masa nk blow up jer.bile dh meletup tu, ade la yg kene marah tahap maximum gle2 or kalau susah sgt,nangis jer...

3.suke tdo.x g mane2,baik tdo.waktu 2nd year,pnah zeti n ita tried to call me,nk ajak kuar,ade la dlm 10 kali missed calls and a few messages,tp x dgr pun bunyi phone tuh.heheheh....

4.suke basuh baju,tp x suke lipat...in the end,kalau dh sgt2 malas,i hang all the clothes tmasuk la tshirt..heheeh..mak tgk,mak pun geleng kepala.

5.suke masuk shopping mall..:) kalau x de ape2 yg nk dibeli pun, nk balik nanti,mesti ade jugak at least 1 bag.x de duit nih, tapi tetap beli kasut...

6. x suke pakai mekap.all i have is a lip balm, lipstick,lip gloss and foundation..foundation pun jarang pakai.nanti pakai,sbuk nk kurangkan amount die,takut2 terlebih2 plak..nk g skolah je pun.

7. x pandai ngemas.kalu ngemas,mesti ade jer benda2 yg tertinggal utk dikemas.even my work table kat staff room ni sentiasa pnuh dgn papers.kemas skali,ari esoknye dh bertimbun2 dgn kertas,especially exam season.

8.i took friendship seriously.x main2 ar..so dont lie to me,jgn nk sorok2 ngan aku....jgn buat hal.once mase kat uia,pnah one of my friends(time tu la kawan)was hiding sumthing from me.i dont know what it was,but its very suspicious when that person answered a phone call luar keta.mase tu kiteorg ramai2 dlm keta,baru balik dr tgk PGL..yg aku x paham,we'been talking about that topic sepanjang masa,tp die skit pun x ckp yg die bkawan dan dlm proses nk lg rapat.x hingin la tp because at that time,yg sorg tu pun,konon konon la kawan aku.ade 1 day dtg admit kat aku,yg dieorg dh nk couple,bgtau aku pun sbb takut aku marah mcm aku marah sorg lg member aku nih.(pd sape2 yg x phm cite ni,biarkan aje.yg paham,korang tau la kan?)to sum it up, i didnt talk to the both of them anymore.
when i dont like sumthing/sumone, aku tunjuk.ayat2 ni x gune la,main action jer.jgn harap nk tegur..u mess with me.why should i talk to u?kat sini ade la contohnye sorang..memang tipikal org kg la.suke sbuk jaga hal org lain...enuff said.smpai skarg aku x tgur die, sbb dok bwk cite aku yg x nk tgur die.

9. i have my bad days.mase tu,memg x berape nk ckp sgt ngan mane2 org.ade angin gak la.jadi prefer to spend my time sorg2.kalau x,ade la yg kene bahananye.

10.sgt cepat tension.my stress level pun quite high jugak la..tmbah2 lagik bile dh keje ni.

11.not very good in saving money but verry good in spending the money..heheheh...

12.not a good cook.skit2 bley la masak,tp kalau masak utk ramai org tu,not me la...

13.dont like kl for a living, but love kl so much for shopping and hangouts and friends..

14.x bley naik bas lame2.paling lame pun 4 jam je..pnah naik bas dr besut ke kuantan,7 jam..balik umah pnat gle,rase nk nangis jer..thats why skarg ni kalau nk balik naik bas,amik dr k.terengganu to kuantan.4 hours.kalau x,i'll drive from besut to kuantan,for 4 hours..jimat 3 jam tau.tp pastu,lutut x bley straight la..hehe.

15.TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH MR FAHMY!

wah,berjaya jugak akhirnye!!!heheheh....

i'm now tagging firah,fasyu and lin...

nak nangis,nk jerit,nk shopping..nasib baik tgh x de duit.kalau x,dh lame aku pg shopping..tensen btul la..geram aku..geram sgt2.apsal minah sorg tu x tukar2??masalah punye la byk,tp x kene tukar...

TENSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank u...

this week has been a quite stressful moment.with students n the trial exam,the papers to be mark, friends who r not dat supportive and keeps on giving those childish remarks.. *sigh*

TRIAL EXAM
english paper was last monday. first flipped the question paper, i didnt think that it was a hard question if compared to the previous MARA trial exam.the same thing with paper 2. we did a pre trial exam before and in literature section, there's 1 poem that has been asked in the pre trial exam came out and it was exactly the same question. so i thought, WAHEY! my students can answer this. but when i marked the paper, aduhai...... they couldnt answer!!!!! adui!!!!!!! padahal, we've been discussing the poem over and over and over again.still, they got it wrong.by the way, the poem is 'There's Been A Death in The Opposite House' by Dickinson. One of the questions;'How did the persona feel when he was observing the events from his window?'.we've discussed the answer many many many many times before.'he did not feel anything'.pastu,bile tanye faham x,sume ckp,faham.dgn kepala2 skali mengangguk..angguk nye bukan main lagi,nmpak mcm nk tcabut kepala tuh.tp bile exam;'he feels sad'..WHERE ON EARTH DID SAD COMES FROM????!!!!!!!!x pnah bincang pun yg tuh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!geram geram geram...
havent mark the essay part,but so far,as for paper 2, students with lower proficiency seems to score.dieorg plak yg tinggi.the top scorer?they are going down even more..so,what differs them actually?nk ckp teacher, the same teacher been teaching them,so i would say their own determination that differs the both of these parties.

FRIENDS WHO R NOT DAT SUPPORTIVE
ini adalah masalah budak2 yang x matang dan still dengan perangai kebudak budakan yg dibawak2 smpai keje dan x padan dgn degree yg die ade!!!!x puas ati,ckp la awal2.ni x, bile ckp je dpt keje,kene buat nih,pastu ckp ok.tetibe org lain smpaikan, die buat cite lain plak kat blakang.I WAS DOING MY JOB FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!!nk ikut ko busy ke x,kalau camtu aku pun nk kire mcm tu.bley aku ckp ngan big boss,'Puan,sy busy la.bley x sy pas kat org lain'.ko ingt aku x de keje lain lg mase tu?ko ingt ko sorang yg byk keje?eh,org lain pun byk la.tp x de pun smpain nk kutuk kwn kat blakang.ni dpt keje,smpai nk menangis2,ckp aku ni saje je nk dajalkan ko.itu x tau cite sebenar.dh tau cite sebenar,mintak maaf pun x nk.siap member sorg ni ckp nk sound aku..ya Allah,hebat sgt ke korg smpai nk sound2 org nih.x puas ati,jumpe big bos la..kite ni sape..pekerja je.x de hak nk pertikaikan tugas yg org bg.name tu,bukan aku sorg yg buat,ramai lagi..ko x puas ati,address sume la.aku jugak yg ko target kan.slama ni x pnah terpk nk buat mcm tu kat kawan2 aku...ko plak pk mcm tu..sakit ati ko je yg ko tau,sakit ati aku ko x pk..dok pekenakan org,x pnah pk org lain rase ape.nk kene pk ape yg ko rase jer..selfish kan namenye tu?ke ko ade better word for that??bile aku kenekan ko balik,ko terdiam..jgn ingt aku senyap jer,aku x lawan..dtg geram aku,aku balas balik la...mase tu aku x pk dah ko rase ape.sbb ko x pnah pk ape yg aku rase.so why should i bother to have concern about your feelings when you dont even care mine??you never see the bad side of me,so dont provoke.i can do even more that what i've done to u.nk rapat ngan ko lg?sorry la..i've learnt my lesson.susah hdup ngan org tikam blakang nih.

i know u wont read because u dont have my blog add. but if somehow,u're happen to read my blog,sendiri mau ingat la.org lain pun busy gak,bukan ko sorang.org lain pun ade masalah gak,bukan ko sorang.xkan nk tunjuk kat satu dunia yg ko ade masalah n bebankan sume org nk pk problem ko.be thankful la ko ade kwn2 yg support ko.bile ko ade problem,ade aku stay away?ade aku kutuk ko balik?ade aku buat bnda2 yg mendajalkan ko?

thinking of changing ur career, but with this kind of attitude,yg x nk kepala ade pressure,busy deadlines,how r u ever going to survive in this world..

yes ana,if u're reading,ini yg buatkan i tensen giler dan stress giler...x tau la kalau bley hilang ke x stress ni..

I really really really really really really really miss Fahmy...

Celebrity Collage by MyHeritage

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Blank family tree - Family history

yesterday,received a shock and surprise news.we have just lost one of our PE teacher because of a heart attack.

Al Fatihah untuk Allahyarham Rahimi Shahar Mohd Radzi...semoga rohnya ditempatkan di kalangan org2 mukmin dan dicucuri rahmat...Amin...

i never thot that what last sunday(of me getting 'scary')left some effects on some students. some students from different class told me that their friends from this class actually cried and feeling really bad...seriously x sangka..ingtkan dieorg still lg x phm the msg that i've been trying to deliver for the whole semester.



in a way, i do feel bad as well..tp mase tu dh x leh control kan,because i have such a high expectation on them..lagipun,i am the class teacher,so i do feel connected with the class members.i love them,but their attitude is the only problem here..



almost half of the class came and ask for an apology already..i dont mind if they didnt even come and see me.i really dont and seriously i mean it,coz i'll still forgive them.



cant wait to see fahmy..this week has been a burden to me...






rindu abg....

yesterday,some of the students from that form 5 class gave me these chocolates and asking for an apology... so now,i have 5 bars of chocolates to be finished before they 're actually expired.i have to admit that,in some ways,it kinda soothes me.but, to tell you the truth, i cannot be mad at them for a long time. they r still my students.even if they didnt come and apologize, i will still pray for their success,regardless what they did...

today's not a good day for me.certainly not a good way to start this new week..no,i dont have any problem with my colleagues, its just the thing that i have to deal with the students.

very frustrated,sad,disappointed...i think frustrated is more suitable.i cannot say that they have let me down..i dont have any right to say that.frustrated,yes..thats more like it.what happened this morning really taught me a lesson.i was so excited to enter a form 5 class this morning.i have lotsa things to tell them and discuss with them,i have planned what should i be doing in class,thinking that they have finished all the homeworks that i gave them(i was not around for almost 2 weeks).the first thing that i need to discuss with them is regarding an essay and 2 summaries.so,i walked into the class,after the greeting and all,i excitedly asked them'have you finished spm 04 & 05'.Confidently, they answered,'NOOOO!' u tell me,how should i feel at that moment?and they dont even have that guilty faces on their faces(some of them).even the kindest student in class did not finish the work..i was actually keeping my anger since last friday,as i was very disappointed with the guys when they were not being attentive when we had that Guru Cemerlang,giving workshop to them.i decided that those feelings stayed there,and i dont even want to bring up the matter anymore.but today,when they answered that,i became so mad and suddenly i felt really restless.i dont have the strength to stand anymore,my hands were shaky,i took a deep breath a few times,i felt like bursting my tears..i almost screamed in class..i rarely give them any homeworks,and that was not even a homework,they should finish it during English period,when I was not around.What did they do at that time???And their trial exam, is just next week!!!!i walked out from the class,for a few minutes..i've tried hard to do things that they asked me to,i really did..but i guess,it wasnt enough...and none of them came to me and asking for an apology until this eve,where 2 girls asked for an apology.the rest?i guess they just wait up for Majlis Mohon Restu....

and tonight, i was supposed to meet up with these 4 students,to check their essays and summaries.they havent turn up yet..its okay,i'll wait for as long as i can stand..

i almost give up..seriously..i was very close of giving up.why?because of this..i rather teach students who live in rural area,because they know how to respect their teachers.if i give up,i'll lose my interest...

school holidays is now over..for me at least.will be going back to besut tomorrow,again driving alone for 4-5 boring hours..

its the school hols!!i finally can breathe!(not that i dont breathe before,dont take it literally ar).drove for 4 hours yesterday,from besut to kuantan.smpai umah,nk jalan pun x larat..but it was a relieved actually,finally got to see a different view from besut..

got some marking to be done this week,but its ok.as long as i'm in kuantan while marking the paper,i dont mind..:)

THE WEEKEND
its the weekend!but going to be a dull one! :( will be stuck in school handling all the last minute stuff that need to be done before sunday.its the camping stuff.seriously,i never see myself will be involved in such a thing;camping,sport & any other outdoor activities.but now,here i am,commiting myself to camping!!such a nice twist..but,to my surprise,i begin to like and enjoy it...huhuhu...presenting the new SALWA..

THE HEADACHE
not literally..its been two days now,the elctricity was no stable..ade plak bley black out.x semena2,hujan x,ribut x..tetibe je black out.*sigh*sabor je ler...

THE GLOOMY
fahmy is busy this week.if not,he'll definetely be here.i just miss him so much.i've been in a relationship before.for three years.it didnt work out..i thot i'll be single for quite sometimes.but,i just cant resist this man whom i love mostly and dearly now.i know he loves me,and i definetely love him.i do hope that this relationship will be the one,as what i've always pray for..

i love u abg..i just love u so much..thanks for all the wonderful times.spending the time with u,is the time that I highly anticipate and treasure.thanks for always being here and there for me.thanks for being my shoulder to cry on.thanks for believing in me,thanks for having faith in me,that u r willing to put ur future with me..thank u for everything...
once again,
I LOVE U

fresh start

finally!
after 3 weeks, i've finally created a new blog..away from my students' reach...x de privacy langsung..maybe it's the address, i think..senang sgt kot.anyway,an update of what happened for the last three weeks.

1. exam week.
it's pre trial exam for the form 5 students,that means marking papers time for me.i took basically about 3 weeks to finish up all the papers.performance wise, it was a not so nice result la..dont know what happened to these students.even a top scorer cant even score.this,started to freak me out.trial exam is a month from now.if their result would be something like the pre trial exam, i'll be dead meat.

2.activity week
form 5 students involved with Kem Kecemerlangan SPM. i was in charged of souvenirs and financial matters a.k.a the treasurer la kan.argh!!pening ngan duit nih..lame2 pegang duit org,tensen jadinye..travelling back and forth jugak la..mane nk settle the paper lagi,nk bagi elaun speaker lagi..dhla x leh claim duit petrol..TENSEN!!!

3.SUMUR 2008
surprise surprise!!i play netball!!my sister was sarcastically being supportive,"kak wa,awak main netball??"konon2 innocent la tuh..oh ya,SUMUR is Sukan Muhibbah Mara.this year,it was held in MRSM Pengkalan Chepa.ehem,most important thing was,fahmy was there as well.. :) i had fun,my friends had fun as well..

will be meeting fahmy today... :) suke........

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